How to learn to say no?

Of course, you can’t just say ‘no’ to everything. But you can be a bit critical about what you say ‘yes’ to. Do you find that difficult? Then with these tips, you can learn how to turn that eternal ‘yes’ into a liberating ‘no’.

Remember that saying “no” is not meant personally.

Often we do not dare to say ‘no’ because we are afraid that we will hurt or disappoint another. But you will see that another person does not take a friendly but clear ‘no’ as a personal rejection at all in practice.

Take a break for thought

Do you often blurt out a ‘yes’ before you realize it? Then learn to take a break and come back to the question later. That is not strange at all and gives you the opportunity to see whether you really want and can say ‘yes.

Keep it simple

Many people tend to wrap up a ‘no’ first. Not necessary! Indicate that you simply have other priorities or that you may be able to say ‘yes’ another time. Giving a whole statement is actually wanting to get approval from the other.

Practice saying ‘no’

Practice makes perfect. Even when it comes to saying ‘no’. For example, practice saying “no” at least once a day. Or make a game of it by saying ‘no’ to every third question.

See how others say ‘no’ You

Probably have people around you who say ‘no’ a lot easier. Learn from this! At the next meeting, pay close attention to how that colleague is behaving. How does he or she sit, which hand gestures do you see and which typical phrases are used.

Realize that you can say ‘no’

There is of course such a thing as collegiality, but in principle, you are never obliged to say ‘yes. Even if you don’t have anything on the agenda at all — you can just choose not to work in the evenings. Your time is yours. If others don’t understand that, it says more about them than it does about you.

Make yourself less available

Thanks to apps, e-mail, and social media, we are almost always available. Moreover, asking something this way is a lot easier and people expect you to respond faster. Therefore, make it clear that you cannot or do not always want to respond immediately or just turn off your smartphone from time to time.

Try to negotiate

Do you really want to say ‘no’ but are you in a situation where you feel that this is really not possible? Then try to negotiate. For example, agree to take over a presentation when the other person takes on some of your work. That way you both benefit.

Dare to turn a ‘yes’ into a ‘no’

Have you said ‘yes’ but regretted it afterward? You can change your mind! It is not strange to approach the other person and indicate that you have thought about it again and still have to say ‘no’. Make sure you pass this on as soon as possible and try not to go back on your promises too often.

Good luck!